The most baffling things my parents ever came up with to take revenge on us for whatever we could have done to annoy them, was the yearly vacation by a four-wheeler. My father loved hauling us in the car once every year at the crack of dawn. He believes in maintaining a strict timetable during vacations.
There were a few things I decided I would do when I become a parent – have no more than two kids to avoid the biggest conflict amongst siblings – WHO GETS THE WINDOW SEAT.
Being the eldest one, I was always expected to sit between my younger sister and brother. As soon as the car started, they would start their - kick-kick, box-box game with all the kicking and boxing aimed at each other (not me) but it would sadly land on me!
Each sibling has his or her antagonistic agenda for the trip and they ensure that they pursue it relentlessly. The agenda on top being hurling, jostling of bodies to get the window seat. Which mostly leads to the precious game of kick-kick, box-box. This is played generally by the losers who do not get their intended priced item – the window seat.
The father would yell and start the game of making the inmates feel guilty –
The grades on the report card being their most favorite. The sermons once started would assuredly go on till mum runs out of all the rotten things the kids did since the time they were born!
Each trip would begin with a cry of –
“Mummmyyyy!!! I want the corner seat” (that would seal my fate for the rest of the trip!!)
Sister – “Mum ask him to stop moving!”
Mum to me- “Is he moving?”
Me –“He is BREATHING! Should I make him stop?”
Brother to my sister- “You ate the chocolate I saved for today! Don’t you dare deny I saw you!”
Tries to box her ear, but it lands on me since the car is moving!!
Sister –“ I did! Because you got a micron of the chocolate pastry last night!”
Tries to kick, sadly lands on me again!
And so continues the roughhousing, name-calling and eye-gouging.
The Driver of the car generally has a bladder of the size of basket balls and decides to stop once after every 500kms!
The kids would then discuss in length about the writings on the wall of the washrooms they last visited. From the last excursion, I remember the discussion extended up to two states and one of the kids admitted to have made a note of all the phone numbers mentioned, with the intention of calling on those numbers at the next pit stop.
Father would always feed us on promises of the lovely restaurant that lays 200 km away. With stomachs full of dust and water we would finally reach the promised restaurant only to realize that all that exists there is an old abandoned petrol pump with an anorexic dog and lots and lots of debris.
Mum- “So where is the restaurant you told us about”
Father – “Well it was here the last time, I particularly remember the dog, only it was healthier”
Mum – “The last time was in 1986!”
As far as I remember, our parents tried everything from singing to board games but eventually we would get bored and start our favorite game – kick-kick, box-box or any other unorganized madness we could think of.
The vacations stopped after our parents finally realized that it is dangerous to pack five people in a car with nothing to do but tolerate each other. I now miss the peace of no routines, no phones, no regularity but what I miss the most today is the togetherness.
