Weight obsession

As the clock hit 12 on the night of the most important day of the year (my birthday) for my near and dear ones… and especially for poor one by two…(Usually set a reminder his cell phone marking that day as the “most important day of the year” so that he doesn’t miss it. Not that he would risk doing it!)

Anyway that’s not what this post is about. It’s about being on diet! To lose weight!

So… when the clock hit 12… a thought struck in my head – that I’ve been on a diet constantly for 10 years now! And still haven’t reached my ideal weight! (I’m not sure of the ideal figure yet).

10 years ago---

21^st November 2001:

Couldn’t sleep whole night… of course today is the D-DAY… will get to wear “color dress” rather than the boring blue tunic! So glad… yippeeee…

The school decides to have yearly health check up on that day! Why on my Birthday!! WHY take away the glory...

Machine reads – 62kgs! Class teacher… thin as a stick insect... smirks and says –“Oh My! I didn’t realize you were that “healthy””

Crushes self-esteem completely... Vow to self to “lose weight” thus triggering the never ending and never attainable quest!

And Now:

Early morning: Gym – Damn! the weighing machine – Omg! I’ve put on 400grams (shocked)… How? In just one night! Not possible… the machine is wrong…

10 minutes later: on the treadmill (huffing.. puffing) – wondering to self – hmm what did I eat yesterday.. the machine is definitely wrong. Should count yesterday’s calorie intake

Half an hour later: still on the treadmill: It can’t be wrong… was working fine till yesterday!

Instructor comes and pokes –“you know you’ve been running for 40 minutes now…”

Darn! I was so busy counting calories… Omg! Did I really eat that whole chocolate… is that why I’ve put on those extra 400 gms? How could I have bloated over night…

An hour later: Ask my one by two – “Am I looking fat?”

One by two (like always): “you always look beautiful to me…”

Trying to be cool and calm and not hit him on head: “I’m not saying that! I’m asking you if I’m looking fatter to you since morning…?”

One by two: “Errr.. umm… I don’t know!”

Frustrated to the core.. (Wondering if I married a retard): “You just cannot say a YES or a NO… can you?”

One by two (wondering if he’s married a retard): “No! you look just the same.”

Will definitely hit him on head someday!

One and a half hour later: Driving – maybe should skip breakfast today… shouldn’t have had that extra spoon of horlicks with milk! Absolutely no control over self… no wonder I’m putting on weight!

Hear honking from behind…. Jeeez! I didn’t realize it was a green okay!!… Yell “Fine! I’m moving… not like you have a meeting with the president of United States”…..

People don’t even let you think and ponder over important issues in life.

Lunch time: Glad could get away… will have a fruit salad… No more fatty foods… need to loose 600gms… Should keep a buffer of 200 always!

Forum: Oh shit! This machine is definitely not working.. reads 2kgs extra… oh god why did I come here?

Should’ve just had that fruit salad… skipped dinner and should’ve checked tomorrow!

Evening at 4: Ooooh! tea time… will quickly step out and check weight at the juice shop…

Hurraaahh..!! reads a kg less! Yeaahh..!! Oh no wait... didn’t count the weight of the choora I had on…

Hmm... have never weighed it actually …..oh well.. should be 200gms…

Yeeaahh! I’ve finally lost so much in a day!

Night: Maybe should re-confirm weight again

(At Shanti Sagar) make one by two stand first to see if the machine reads correctly…

Oh it does…

Oh no! I haven’t lost a bit! Oh no… all this trouble for nothing… I’m fat!

Oh god….

Couldn’t sleep whole night! Wondering how to lose the extra 400gms…

And thus it continues… the quest to lose the extra few grams and kg… if only that stick insect of a woman hadn’t smirked… I wouldn’t have been on a diet since 10 years and counting.. would’ve gloatingly enjoyed White Bread with butter!! and Peanut butter!!! and ghee!!!! and makkhan on parathas..!! (over even parathas for that matter!!!)… if only….